Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Alruccabah's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, September 24th, 2005
10:17 am	I'm only doing this meme to prove I'm not dead I haven't posted in a long time. Too much flying around the country, too much work. I should be doing something else right now, but instead I'm going to waste time on LiveJournal. 1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? My hair. 2. How much cash do you have on you? Five bucks. I meant to go to the ATM yesteday, but I got distracted. 3 What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? Rest. 4. Favorite plant? Cherry tree. 5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My friend Ben. 6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? It's the only one that came with the phone that actually sounds like a phone ringing. All the other ringtones were only suitable for a fourteen year old girl. 7. What shirt are you wearing? A NYC tourist souvenier t-shirt. 8. Do you "label" yourself? I used to call myself a slacker, but nowadays, you know, whatever. 9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing? Not wearing shoes. 10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright. Else I shall fall asleep. 11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? I think she's very depressed, and I wish I could say something to her that would help, but I can't even help myself with my own depression. Also, I think "Why do all the hot vegetarian submissive chicks all have to live hundreds or even thousands of miles away?" 12. Do you know what an 8-track is? Yes. And I even know what a four-track is. 13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Email, I think. 14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? No one ever texts me. 15. Do you ever click on pop-ups or banners? Only by accident. 16. What's a saying that you say a lot? "Screw that." 17.Who told you they loved you last? My dad. 18. Last furry thing you touched? A friend's cat. 19. How many hours a week do you work? Forty. 20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? Two or three, I think. But I don't know where they are. 21. Favorite age you have been so far? Twenty-five or so. 22. Your worst enemy? Who has ememies? This isn't middle school. 23. What is your current desktop picture? It's still the default plain blue, because I can't be bothered. 24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Thanks, you too." 25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to erase all of your regrets, what would you choose? My only regret is that I don't have a million bucks. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 26th, 2005
9:14 am	Pictures of Sarah Sarah is a shy girl who never thought about modeling or anything like that, but I happen to meet her in the grocery store. I tell her that she is quite a pretty girl, and that I'd love to have her come to my studio for some pictures. ( MF, spanking, oral, ageplay, about 3300 words ) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 19th, 2005
3:12 pm	Fugitive I needed to stop. I needed to stop and think, and figure out just how screwed I was. First thing, I figured I should get off the freeway. They’d be looking for the car, and I needed to get someplace it wouldn’t be spotted from the road. I took the next exit, which put me onto an arterial somewhere out in the suburbs. I didn’t even know where I was. I picked the direction that I thought was away from the city. ( MF, bondage, rape, about 5600 words ) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 12th, 2005
11:25 am	Letter to Lori I missed posting last week because I was out of town. This week, I have a story in a somewhat different style. . . . Dear Lori, I’m sorry I fucked your sister. Let me explain. ( MF, voyeurism, masturbation, oral, piv, cheating ) (Comment on this)
Friday, July 29th, 2005
1:37 pm	Elevator Timing is everything. If I’d done the slightest thing differently that day – if I’d lingered for a moment longer over breakfast, or if it had taken me another second to feed change into the parking meter – then this whole experience would never have happened. ( MFF, handcuffs, spanking, about 7200 words ) (Comment on this)
Friday, July 22nd, 2005
8:03 am	Paramedic One of the big positives about being a paramedic is that you get to meet a lot of interesting people. One of the downsides is that mostly you don’t ever find out what eventually happens to them. ( MF, bondage, about 4500 words ) (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 17th, 2005
9:36 am	Life Drawing This is the story that beigekhakis reqested last Tuesday in eroticfantasies. Or my version of it, anyway. I meant to get this up by Friday, but it turned out much longer than I expected. . . . I didn’t do more than glance at the flyer, but the word “nude” has a way of catching the eye. “Wanted: nude models for life drawing class,” it said. “$25 for one 50-minute session.” I stood there in front of the bulletin board thinking about it. That would be kind of weird, standing there naked in front of a bunch of people while they draw you. On the other hand, it would be a quick twenty-five bucks, and a college student always needs cash. Nah, I decided, and walked on down the hall. I didn’t think about it for the rest of the day. ( MFFFF, about 7600 words ) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 8th, 2005
8:04 am	Hitchhiker I like my car. It’s not an expensive car, nor really a very fast car, though I try to drive it like it is. But I think it’s a fun car, and it suits me. ( MF, about 2900 words ) (Comment on this)
Friday, July 1st, 2005
9:20 am	Diner It sounded like a romantic idea: two lovers jumping into a car and driving off with no particular destination in mind. And it was romantic, when we started our vacation. But two weeks of driving later, when we'd listened to every CD we had at least three times, and gotten tired of looking for funky little tourist attractions to check out, well, things can get a little snippy. ( MFF, about 4400 words ) (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 25th, 2005
4:14 am	Correspondent #2 (I'm wary of even using her initial here) asked me when I'll write a fantasy about her and me. I asked her to give me some more information about herself, and it turns out she's married. This is a small disappointment, but on the bright side I can ask her if she acts out any of these fantasies with her husband. Correspondent #1, meanwhile, hasn't emailed me at all since I sent her the second story. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
4:11 am	I've sent two stories to each of my correspondents, and written yet another one, which I don't think is approprate for either one of them. I like how the writing is going, and I'm thinking about posting them into a community on LJ. But for now, I'm going to keep them private. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 19th, 2005
3:53 am	Arranged to meet with a woman to live out a rape fantasy. I don't know her name, and she doesn't know mine. It was last night. It didn't work for me. The inability to communicate bothered me. I don't think I'll seek anonymous sex in the future. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 16th, 2005
4:06 am	I've sent each of my correspondents one story now, and they were well recieved. But staying in contact with both of them is going to occupy a lot of my time. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
4:00 am	I put an add on Craigslist, offering to email women with my fantasies. I got two responses, and suprisingly, they're both submissive women. We'll see how it goes. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 18th, 2003
3:55 am	Procrastinating I've spent the last week avoiding writing a story. I really don't have a good excuse. I could start on it this morning, but I'll probably be tired later when I have a chance. Perhaps I should just do it anyway, tired or no. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 11th, 2003
12:39 pm	Hint from my past I have a friend, whom I've known for years. I'll call her T. I've never had any romantic or sexual interest in T. -- she's just not my type. Nevertheless, I have always enjoyed teasing, provoking, and sometimes, hurting her. I think I might have smacked her in the head on the first occasion I met her. Certainly I have smacked her many times, as well as punched her, shoved her around, kicked her, and head-butted her. I'm also rather free with the verbal invective. It's rare that we meet that I don't inform her that she's an utter nerd. And there's no sexual angle to this at all. This is how we relate as friends, and we're both comfortable with it. (I am, anyway, and she continues to hang out with me, so I suppose she is too.) And until recently, I never would have thought of including this kind of playing at being mean into a romantic relationship. Perhaps that's part of the reason my relationship endevors have been so unsatisfying. Well, I'm still looking for that woman that I can play at being mean with. Where the hell am I going to find her? (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 1st, 2003
4:43 am	Her Hands Her Hands ( About 1600 words ) (Comment on this)
4:38 am	What the hell On further consideration, I have reworked the story a little, and I think it's presentable now. Not all pain has to be white-hot and mind-numbing, and the pain isn't reallly the point of the story anyway. So now I think it works as a story. I don't know, however, if it will at all ring true to people who have any experience with a D/s relationship. But the only way I can know that is to show it to people and see what they say. So I've decided to do that. (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 30th, 2003
12:04 pm	What I want If I'm going to get anything out of this, I should make clear to myself what it is that I want. In poking around LJ and elsewhere on the net, I encountered submissives, in some cases outright slaves, writing about their needs. Their needs to be directed, controlled, instructed, and protected. And they were not weak and desparate women, either. They sounded intelligent, willful, and happy. This was a huge revelation to me. I had the idea that a strong, capable woman would always, naturally, insist upon total equality in a relationship. Now I know different. Well, that's what I want. A couple weeks ago, I would have said that I was looking for a good woman to start a relationship with, looking for a girlfriend. Well, I still want that, but now I want to feel those needs directed at me. And I want to fill them. But I want it with someone that I genuinely like, even without considering with the D/s and relationship elements. I don't just want to order some girl around or take her over my knee. I want actions that mean something. So that's what I'm looking for. A nice relationship with a nice girl, but with a D/s orientation. As for how I expect to get that, I'll leave that to a later post. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 29th, 2003
11:45 am	Well, my first attempt at a kink story turns out to be a failure. I'm happy with the mood, the narrative flow, and the characterization, but the problem is that the punishment I thought up for the story turns out not to be very painful. (I decided to suffer for my art, as a reality check.) Oh well. I suppose this is going to happen when I try to write about things I know nothing about. Perhaps I'll recycle some of it with a slightly different scenario. (Comment on this)